Changing

My Mammaw Jamison passed away a few months ago.  I have always considered myself to be a person of strong faith, but her death shook my faith to its core, and made me face the fact that I had been fooling myself for a long time.  I was always very close to my Mammaw, and not many people understand that, and it is hard for me to explain.  To make a long story short, the last few months have been very hard.  I have gotten through it by seeking answers from God, journaling, and finally realizing that I may never have all the answers I am looking for.  Music has really helped me get through this, so I am including the lyrics of two songs that mean a lot to me.

Great Light of the World  by Bebo Norman

Sometimes at night I am afraid. I cover my eyes, cover my shame.
So here in the dark, broken apart, come with your light and fill up my heart.

Oh great light of the world fill up my soul.
I’m half a man here, so come make me whole
Oh great light of the world, come to impart the light of your grace to fill up my heart.

The wind of this world can push us around, folding us up, backing us down
But here in the dark I’m not alone so come with your strength and carry me home

Oh great light of the world fill up my soul
I’m half a man here, so come make me whole
Oh great light of the world, come to impart the light of your grace

Oh great light of the world fill up my soul
I’m half a man here, so come make me whole
Oh great light of the world come to impart the light of your grace to fill up my heart

The light of your grace to fill up my heart

Beauty From Pain by SuperChick

The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive
But I feel like I've died

And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I wonder why God lets me walk through this place

And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how You've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here and I am at the end of me (at the end of me)
Trying to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to your promise there will be a dawn

After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain